The Woman Who Shaped Me

I've been thinking of how to write this post in a way that really portrays how amazing The Woman Who Shaped Me was, but nothing really seemed to do her justice. Those of you who knew her already know the type of person she was, and I hope that there are glimpses of her in me. So instead of explaining her and the 25 years I spent with her, I decided to just run through some memories that stick out in my mind.

That shelf of bells was just too tempting for me to resist, or so I hear, I was still young enough that I couldn't walk yet and don't remember. The Woman Who Shaped Me would tell me not to touch the bells, slap my hand, and then watch as I held her gaze and reached over to knock one from the shelf. As I got older The Woman Who Shaped Me turned my obsession with the bells into an obsession with cleaning. It was my job to take a big bucket of soapy water and clean each individual bell on the shelf. I of course thought this was wonderful and so expanded my cleaning to every little whatnot and figurine in the entire house, and if you knew The Woman Who Shaped Me, you know she had a lot of them. As an adult she let me go through and pick out which bells I wanted from the shelf to take to my own house, and so now they sit in my hallway in my most of the time clean house. Thanks for making me a clean freak!

I remember being in the kitchen more than any other room in the house growing up. The linoleum floor had patterns that made perfect roads to drive my cars on, swerving in between the legs of The Woman Who Shaped Me, sometimes crashing into her feet. I would also find ways to hide my little body in the cabinets so I could surprise The Woman Who Shaped Me when she'd open them. I had a little stool to stand on next to The Woman Who Shaped Me so I could reach the counter and help her sort out the bad beans or flatten the dough for the homemade biscuits. I'd get to hold the mixer when making cakes and tried to learn how to decorate the cakes the way she did. If ever I didn't like what was for dinner then The Woman Who Shaped Me would just make me a grilled cheese, with Miracle Whip of course. Unfortunately as an adult the kitchen is a mystery to me, I can barely make my own grilled cheese. What did stick was my refusal to eat certain foods. Thanks for aiding me in being a picky eater!

When I was born The Woman Who Shaped Me immediately took me as her own. When I had a splinter in my foot from refusing to ever wear shoes, she would use a sewing needle to perform delicate surgical removal of the splinter. I of course screamed and cried like I was going through an amputation. When we would sit in church for what seemed like hours, The Woman Who Shaped Me would let me lay my head over on her shoulder, which still seems to be the most comfortable thing I've ever laid my head on. I'd hold her hand and run my thumb over the tips of her fingernails, which always looked exactly the same to me the entire 25 years. Even as an adult I'd still sit by her on her bed with my head on her shoulder, holding her hand, feeling safe and worry free. Thanks for showing me true comfort!

As long as I can remember The Woman Who Shaped Me had the job of taking care of people. She did this as a profession, with her husband, sisters, daughters, grandkids, nieces, nephews, etc. I can't really remember a time that she ever put herself in front of what others needed. Almost anything I wanted or needed she would work for me to have. Sometimes I couldn't understand how The Woman Who Shaped Me could turn around and be there for someone after they had treated her so badly, but she always did. I never witnessed The Woman Who Shaped Me being cruel to anyone, and as for me I never received any sort of punishments from her. Thank you for showing me what real selflessness and forgiveness looks like!

Excitement over the holidays, family, stories of the past, cleaning, loving, acceptance, patience, so much more. These are the things The Woman Who Shaped Me helped me understand, appreciate, and carry on in my own life. Every day I wish I could continue to learn more from her, but I know now that I just have to take that light she gave me and keep passing it on to everyone I encounter and hope I make her proud. Even though I'm the combined product of everyone I've had in my life, she is definitely The Woman Who Shaped Me.