Caught in the Web

There was a time I remember, before you, when life was much more simple and happy. Back when everyone would spend their free time outdoors, or actually sitting face to face with each other. When facial expressions could be seen instead of having to be deciphered through punctuation marks.

You started out innocent enough, connecting me to people all around the world through email, and then the chat rooms. The chat rooms where my insecure, middle school self could be anyone that I wanted. The chat rooms that eventually became the only place I felt safe enough to be honest about who I actually was, too afraid to let people in my real life know me. A place where I felt accepted and wanted. You cradled me through, year after year, secretly wrapping your chains  around me at the same time.

Then came Xanga where I could share my every day life with the world, or at least my ten friends that read it. I let my emotions pour out so freely onto the screen, feeling a comfort I thought only you could offer me. You accepted me while silently smiling as the distance grew between me and actual human interaction. Everything was played out though pushes of a button rather than an actual conversation, or a needed hug.

Time passed and along came Myspace where I could express myself with pictures, music, and my Top 8. If I had a friend who wasn't commenting as much as I'd like, I could easily move them on down the list and let everyone know who my REAL friends were. It became a daily chore to make sure my page was up to date, fresh, keeping people interested in me. Favorite movies, books, quotes...look at how interesting I am!!

By this point you had me and most of my friends. For those you didn't, you had one more trick up your sleeve: Facebook. No Facebook = No Life! How could we know what our friends are up to? Look at all that fun they are having in that photo album! Wish I was there, but I really need to make sure I like all the status updates my crush makes so his relationship status doesn't change without me!

Of course from there was Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest...*sigh*

By the end of the day I'm just exhausted keeping up with it all. I just want to walk over to my friend's house and actually see their new hair, shoes, nails, pet, baby, etc. Instead I'll follow the link from Twitter to their Instagram so I can like their amazing photography skills, and maybe even leave a comment on their Facebook if it's really good.

Oh Internet, how you've beaten us all. We no longer even have to think, just Google it. We don't have to be in front of a computer because we can just carry you around in our pockets, always "connected" to each other without ever having to be connected.

I want to forget all about you, but I don't even know how to survive without you.

So instead I'll finish up this blog post, link it to my Twitter and Facebook, and wait for my phone to notify me when people like it or comment on it, giving me those wonderful feelings of affirmation and acceptance. That way I know that people can still care in some way, that we can all relate to each other...as long as it's not IRL.